How to help someone with anxiety

The first step to being a helpful support is to recognize the signs of anxiety or an anxiety disorder. There are often several main ways anxiety expresses itself: emotionally, mentally, physically, and behaviorally. Typically, these anxiety symptoms show up consistently over a period of months. There are many variations and combinations of how anxiety can present itself, so it’s good to know some of the most common symptoms of anxiety. 

Mental and emotional signs

• Excessive worry about many different things: You may notice that they seem worried across multiple areas of life. They might frequently talk about what could go wrong or focus on worst-case scenarios, even when things appear to be going OK.
• Racing and repetitive thoughts: It may seem like their mind is always “on,” returning to the same worries or questions again and again. They might express difficulty letting things go or appear mentally preoccupied, even during moments meant for rest.
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions: You might notice them struggling to focus, losing track of tasks, or feeling stuck when trying to make decisions. Things that once felt simple may start to feel overwhelming or harder to complete.
• Feeling on edge or irritable: They may seem more tense, easily frustrated, or quicker to react than usual. You might notice a lower threshold for stress or a sense that they are constantly “on alert.”
• Feelings of intense fear: At times, they may express a strong sense that something isn’t right or that something bad might happen, even if they can’t fully explain why. This underlying fear can shape how they think, feel, and respond throughout the day.

Physical symptoms

• Racing heart: You may notice them describing a fast or pounding heartbeat, especially during moments of stress or fear. This is part of the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, even when there isn’t an obvious threat.
• Shortness of breath: They may share that it feels hard to catch their breath or that they aren’t getting enough air. This can look or feel distressing, even though their body is receiving enough oxygen.
• Nausea or abdominal discomfort: Anxiety often shows up in the stomach. They might mention feeling queasy, needing to use the bathroom more frequently, or just feeling physically unsettled.
• Muscle tension: You might notice signs of tension in their body, such as tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, or general stiffness. Their body may appear braced, even in situations that don’t seem outwardly stressful.
• Difficulty sleeping: They may have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up feeling rested. When the body and mind are on high alert, it can be difficult for them to fully wind down.

Behavioral changes

• Avoidance: You may notice them starting to avoid certain situations, places, or activities — especially those that feel overwhelming or anxiety-provoking. While this can bring short-term relief, over time it can begin to limit their world and reinforce the fears they’re trying to manage.
• Excessive reassurance-seeking and checking behaviors: They may frequently look for reassurance to feel OK — asking the same questions, revisiting concerns, or double-checking things at home or work. You might also notice repeated searching for answers or difficulty feeling settled, even after receiving reassurance.
• Withdrawal from social situations: Anxiety, particularly social anxiety, can make interactions feel draining or intimidating. You may notice them pulling back from social settings, canceling plans, or becoming more isolated — even from people they care about.
• Difficulty completing everyday tasks: When anxiety takes up a lot of mental and emotional space, everyday responsibilities can start to feel overwhelming. You might notice tasks being delayed, avoided, or harder for them to keep up with across work, home, or relationships.

When you recognize these signs as anxiety in another person, it becomes easier to respond with empathy and compassion. It generates patience and helps us show up for them more effectively.