Not necessarily in the developmental sense, but many people with ADHD do struggle with what the label is referring to — and it all comes back to working memory.
Working memory is part of executive function, the mental skills that help you plan, prioritize, and follow through on things. When working memory is strong, a mental note like “call the dentist” stays active even after you look away. But if you have difficulties with working memory and attention (as it often is with ADHD), that note fades quickly until something around you brings it back.
If you’ve struggled with this, you’re not imagining it. Research has repeatedly documented working memory impairments in adult ADHD, and those hold across the types of ADHD. When researchers compared adults exhibiting symptoms of inattention with adults who have a mix of inattention and hyperactivity, they found working memory difficulties in both groups.
Working memory, prospective memory, and attention difficulties are at the root of the classic ADHD “out of sight, out of mind” experience. Yes, you still know the thing exists — but you lose your grip on actively thinking about it. Here’s what that can look like in your daily life.
Forgetting tasks and deadlines
You write a deadline in your planner with the best of intentions, but then you never look at your planner again. Long-term projects are especially easy for you to lose track of—especially if there are multiple sequential components—since nothing prompts you to work on them until the due date is close (or already behind you).
Losing track of objects and belongings
When you put something away, it feels like it vanished. You might also find yourself buying a third bottle of shampoo because you didn’t realize two other ones were hiding under the sink. This is why many people with ADHD keep things out on counters and desks — visual clutter serves as a memory aid of sorts.
Missing daily habits and medications
Doing something every day doesn’t guarantee you’ll remember it. If your prescription bottle lives in a cabinet, you might skip a dose without noticing. The same goes for watering your plants, taking out the recycling, or drinking water during a busy day.
Falling out of touch with people you care about
You can also struggle with object permanence with people (sometimes related to emotional or object constancy). For example, you might go months without texting a close friend. You care about them, but they aren’t in front of you to spark the thought. Some people with ADHD say it’s harder to feel connected to a partner or loved one when they’re apart. This can easily be perceived as indifference by others, so it’s helpful to name or explain what’s actually happening.
If you experience any (or all) of these frequently, and they get in the way of your work, relationships, or daily routines, you might want to talk with a mental health professional. They can help you understand what’s behind these behaviors and build a treatment plan that could include therapy, behavioral strategies, or sometimes medications.
For some adults, ADHD medication can help with attention and executive function. One meta-analysis found that adults performed better on working memory tasks while taking methylphenidate (a common ADHD medication) than while taking a placebo.
Experiences vary, though. Talk with your medical doctor, psychiatrist, or a psychiatric nurse practitioner to explore your options. If you already take medication, don’t stop or change your dose until you speak with your prescribing provider.
